Hammer's Girl
by AnitaLife
Summary: It all started with a date gone wrong with Captain Hammer and his girlfriend. Things escalated when Hammer beat up Doctor Horrible.
1. Meet the Characters

**Authors Note: **Okay, I doubt anybody is reading this. This is just a random idea that came into my mind for a possible fanfiction, but so far it is just this single little chapter. I suppose if I get enough positive feedback, it may continue.

June 8th

Dear Chique,

I still can't believe it. Maybe I just live in fantasy land to much for it to seem real, rather than one of my strange fantasies. (After all, I named my diary Chique, so normal isn't exactly on my radar.)

Okay, it's been a few weeks, so you probably don't know what I'm going on about. And now, I actually get to write it down.

I am dating Captain Hammer.

I mean out of all the people he could've dated, he choose me. There were all of his fans who were practically falling over each other to even talk to him, and here I am. It was quite interesting, because I was walking along when he appeared next to me and started hitting on me. Normally I hate those kinds of guys, but he was persistent.

On our first date (I agreed so he would leave me alone) we nearly got swarmed by his fan club. Before I knew it, we were in a park rather late at night. Suddenly he disappeared, and I took my chance and ran for it. Sweet, right?  
>Well the next day, I found out he left to deal with this guy named Dr. Horrible, who was trying to rob a bank. Needless to say, I thanked him by going out on another date. Everything is going rather well, and the only issue would be his fans who would kill me for a chance to be with him.<p>

So any way, tonight is our 13th date, and he told me he had something special planned. Maybe I'll find out his true identity or something? I have no idea, but I can't help but come up with some wild fantasy. You know me.

* * *

><p>"Alright, so I am never going to tell you guys my plans before I do them ever again." I straightened the goggles on my head, which kept becoming lopsided. "Yet again, my plans were foiled by none other than that arrogant Captain Hammer. He was tipped off by…" I sighed. "…me."<br>The memory flashed through my mind, and I found myself saying it out loud so the camera could get it. "There it was; the plutonium that I needed so much for my newest device. Everything was going smoothly, then BAM! He had my jacket gathered in his hand and his other hand pulled back my goggles and…." I rubbed the mark on my hairline where they had snapped. "You get the picture."

I suddenly was brought back out of my fantasy world where I was being perpetually beaten to a pulp my Captain Hammer. It didn't help that Penny had loved him. He got the girl, and I killed her. With time he had healed his emotional wound of experiencing pain, but I was still a long way from getting over mine.

"Alright, moving on to reading e-mails!" I reached over to the stack of papers and picked up the first one.

"Dear Doctor Horrible, What does your mother think of your evil escapades?" I put the paper down and looked straight into the camera. "My mother kicked me out of the house the second I turned 18. I don't think she cares."  
>I picked up the next paper and read it over. "Dear Dr. H, When is the last time you got-" My face grew hot and I crumpled the paper and tossed it to the bin. "No. Just no. I refuse to answer that question. Let's move on to another e-mail."<p>

I picked up another one and read it over before reading it out loud. "Alright, this one is acceptable. It reads: Dear Doc, Did you know Captain Hammer has a new girlfriend, and it is essentially all your doing?"

"Actually, no it isn't. From what I was told, they met on the street… Which was a few blocks from… when I was… Alright, so it is inadvertently my fault that Captain Hammerhead has a new girlfriend, but why should I care?"

After reading a few more emails and discarding a few of them because I was in no mood to answer them, I ended the webcast. "So you will hopefully see my name in the news soon. Hopefully it will be good for me, and I won't have to deal with Captain Hammerhead gloating again. I'll post later."  
>I hit the button and the recording symbol disappeared. As if it had been choreographed, Moist walked in almost a moment after I hit the end button.<br>"Hey, I got the mail." He dropped my soggy mail, except for a Netflix movie, onto the sofa and plopped down next to them. "Question, when is your next evil plan going down? Because I've wanted to see this for a while now, but I figure you might want to see it too."

I took the movie from him and began opening it. "I'm doing my heist tonight, because it's a good night to get the plutonium. It's one of my last chances for a month or two, so I'm taking the chance." I looked at the movie. "Green Lantern!"  
>"Yeah, I knew you'd want to see it." He sighed. "But I have things to do pretty much all this week except for tonight."<br>"You're available right now. We can watch it now." I looked at him while holding up the movie.

"Let's do this."

I dropped the disk into his lap. "I'll get the popcorn and you can try to set it up."


	2. The Characters Meet

**Authors Note: **Well hey! Look who stayed around to read chapter two! Thanks for continuing reading, but I have a small favor to ask. Please review? And to clear up any possible confusion that may arise. Any scenes involving both Billie and Celeste (my OC) will be in third person, while the vlog and the diary are going to be ways to communicate their true feelings in first person. 

It was nearly silent on the street, seeing as it was getting to be rather late in the evening. The moon was full that night, and stood proudly in the sky. Not many stars could be seen, but it was a city, so that was expected. A few street lamps illuminated the road with a warm yellowish white light. This part of the city was rather worn, because it was right by the bank and the park. The dominant sounds were of the wind gently moving through the trees branches and the sniffles of a girl as she stormed through.

_The nerve of that…that jerk!_ She screamed several profanities in her mind as she headed back to her apartment, which was only a few blocks off. And she was going to walk it, because she couldn't deal with anybody at the moment. Her light cocoa hair was in a pony tail that was sloppily put together with a clip as a last moment action, and her hazel eyes were brimming with tears she refused to cry.

As she went by the bank, she looked at it. The next day she would have to go there for work. Her coworker would ask her how things went and… ugh. The thought of explaining it to her was shudder inducing.

The near silence was broken by a boom and a crack. The sound of rottweilers barking cut through the night like nothing else. And it was coming to the bank, and quickly. As suddenly as the sound had started, the bank doors flew open and a man in a red coat rushed out. He wore goggles on his head, which seemed rather impractical.

What was going on?  
>He looked around wildly and was about to charge off when he noticed the brunette staring at him with confusion. As an impulse, he dove onto her just as there was an explosion in the bank. Glass was everywhere in a matter of milliseconds, and a good amount had found its way onto his back.<p>

He put his palms flat on the ground and pushed himself up slightly, but he didn't get up entirely. "Miss, are you okay?"

The girl's eyes fluttered open as she finally regained her breath and a good part of her sanity. Her clip had fallen out, so her locks made a pool around her head. "Yeah… Who are you?"  
>Before he could reply, he was lifted up by an all too familiar hand. Captain Hammer soon was staring Doctor Horrible in the eye as he held him by the back of his coat. His jaw was locked, which wasn't a good sign. The villain knew by this that his thrashing that night was going to be particularly gruesome.<p>

"Doctor Horrible, we meet again. And this time, you seem to be coming onto my girlfriend quite strongly."

The girl propped herself up on her elbows. "That's Doctor Horrible?"  
>The villain's face flushed. "That's your girlfriend?"<p>

"Yes and yes." The hero continued to glare at his enemy, ignoring the fact his girlfriend may need help getting up.

She got up on her own (although some help may have been nice) and straightened her skirt. This was certainly going on her journal later.

"Wait, you're his girlfriend?"  
>She looked at him and with a slightly angry tone said, "My name is Celeste."<br>Captain Hammer shot her a look before returning to the villain. "Celeste, the girlfriend of Captain Hammer."

Celeste tried not to grimace and look embarrassed. Doctor Horrible looked at her. "I am so sorry for you…"  
>She let out a single "ha" in a very short lived moment of laughter and happiness. This was ended by her boyfriend giving her a hurt look, which was obviously for show. Doctor Horrible smiled, because he knew that her laugh made his thrashing (which was now going to be much worse than it was previously going to be) that much better.<p>

"I suggest you go home now, Celeste. This is about to get messy."  
>"Oh don't pound his face in. Just let the police haul him off."<p>

"It is the swiftest and easiest way to teach him his lesson." He held the victim slightly off the ground and he turned to face his girl. "Just go back to your place and get ready for round two."  
>Doctor Horrible's heart took a stab to it. <em>Way to rub that in somebody's face. He is going about it like he did with Penny… She was just a toy to him. A prize just to beat me down. And now he has another girlfriend while I'm still stuck in the past.<em>

Celeste seemed to be angered by this and stormed off. But, as she was leaving, she went over his shoulder and mouthed, "There never was a round one."

And that was one of the last things he saw before Captain Hammer beat him senseless.

Several hours later, he woke up on a sofa. Where was he? Had Moist found him and drug him back to his place? No… No it couldn't be.

He sat up and looked around. He had never been there before, where ever there was.

The walls were a light yellow, giving the room a bright and sunny feel. He was on a black leather sofa, hugging a red satin pillow. This was confusing. The room he was in had two halls branching off of it, one leading to the front door, the other leading to a bathroom and a bedroom.

Celeste poked her head out from the bathroom. "Oh, you're awake." Now she was wearing a simple white t-shirt and jeans and looked stunning in her simplicity.

"What am I doing here?" He shot up and looked at the door. "Why did you help me?"

She walked out calmly, like she saved her boyfriend's arch nemesis every single day. "Calm down. I couldn't let you sleep in a dumpster after all of that. You saved me from loads of glass. Consider it as returning the favor." She glanced at the kitchen. "Do you want breakfast?"  
>He stared at her with bewilderment and confusion. Ignoring her question, he said, "But I caused the place to explode in the first place…."<p>

"Do you want me to call him over to beat your face in again?" She raised an eyebrow.

"No, no. I'm good."

She smiled. "Great. Now do you want breakfast?"

He was about to say no when he got an idea. She was dating him, so she may know a few things about him that made him squirm. "Yes, I'd love some breakfast."  
>Mission get Hammer's secrets was a go.<p> 


	3. Simple Breakfast

**Authors Note: **Excuse time! Life happened, and I refuse to write without a muse. Otherwise, it stinks. I am working on muse induction so that I way I can write when I can. Sorry about the really lousy update time. I had a choir trip, and I am writing an actual novel, as it is my goal to be published by the time I am out of high school.

Breakfast was simple. She had almost nothing to eat in her cupboards, only cereal, instant oatmeal, mac and cheese, peanut butter and bread. Nothing much could go wrong with any of those foods, unless you tried to combine them all. When asked, Celeste just blushed from embarrassment and said something about those dang pans hating her. She had already eaten, so she just stood in the kitchen as he filled himself. Not staying to close while keeping an eye on him. He ate in silence as he schemed. This was a valuable chance, but he wasn't going to blow it by saying something stupid right off the bat!

"You want me to tell you all I know about him to see if I know anything valuable, don't you?" she asked after he was halfway done with his bowl.

A cornflake lodged itself in the back of his throat and he had to cough quite painfully to make it come free. "What?" he spluttered. _Smooth and totally sophisticated. Nice one Billy!_

She rolled her eyes. "Oh come on. I practically gave you a golden opportunity and you don't seem like the kind to pass it up!"

"Wait… Did you do this intentionally?"

Her eyes flickered and she grinned. "And now is when we transition into a game I call Questions. Not the game I played in high school drama club, mind you. This one is… more fun."

"How so?"

"Let me finish explaining." She put a finger to her lips to indicate he needed to be quiet. "In my version of questions, there are questions and answers that are given by the weight of the answer. For example, if I were to ask a meaningless question like what your favorite cereal was, then you could ask me an equally meaningless question. But as the game goes, it gets deeper." A grin tugged at her lips. "The answerer gets to determine how much of a weight it was and can prestate the question they would like answered in return before giving out their answer. Now you can ask questions."

Doctor Horrible stared at her. "This is a game you play?"

"Yes, I do it when I'm bored! Now any questions pertaining to the game itself?"

"How often do you play this?"

Her eyes rolled again. "Okay. Now you only have one question that strictly applies to the rules of the game."

He took a bite of cereal as he pondered this. Not just a question. The entire game was thought over. It sounded pretty twisted, but it also seemed like something a bored teenage girl might come up with under the correct circumstances. And if he didn't feel like answering a question he could just skip out of it, never to be seen again. But to be safe, he asked, "What if one of us doesn't answer the question given to us?"

"Simple. I tell Hammer you broke in here and disturbed me if you don't answer. If I don't… I'll dump a pot of hot coffee over my head if I don't answer."

"That doesn't seem exactly fair. I get publicly humiliated while you just get filthy."

"I'll do it in public. In the middle of that baseball field and roll in the grass. Fair now?"

"Well, yeah. I suppose." He hoped it wouldn't come down to that for either of them. His end seemed painful and hers just was flat out embarrassing.

"Fantastic." She smiled sweetly, which seemed so contradictory compared to the topic at hand. It was interrupted by her phone loudly beeping on her counter. "Crap! I forgot I have to leave for work!" Several curses were muttered under her breath as she rushed to do whatever. Change into her uniform or something.

"I can let myself out, if that helps," he called after her.

"No you can't!"

He scowled and got up to clean up his bowl. He was evil, not rude. (And for those who wonder, there is a difference.) How was he supposed to play questions if she had to leave then and there?

She breezed through after a moment and picked up her phone, slipping it into the pocket of the blazer she had put on. "Sorry for having to cut it short and all. You looked pretty excited to play Questions."

"I was…" he muttered. "Will it be at all possible for us to play Questions later?"

Letting out an exasperated sigh, she thought about it. Even though it was a rather petty game, he seemed to think it was his ticket to succeeding at everything! Then again, if he played his cards right, then it might end up being so.

"I'll tell you what." She twirled her keys on one of her fingers. "In a few days I have another date with Hammer at some restaurant. If you can figure out where and distract him long enough, I will go with you and then we can play Questions. Deal?"

"Deal!"


End file.
